I hope you take this as an inventory reminder. I wrote a while back about asking yourself questions to put you in a better place. If you did not get a chance to read it I would really recommend it highly. Not only is the concept really good but the guy who wrote it is freaking hot (that’s me by the way)! The premise is that you can be happy anywhere you are based on the questions you ask yourself. I want to go a bit further today and delve a bit into another category, as I think questions really are more important than people realize. Proper questions create clarity and focus priority back to where it generally should be.

As a society it is pretty commonly accepted that most people look out for number 1! In reality most know that the only way to help others out is to be in a good place oneself, right? Thanks Wesostotle for your brilliant findings! I have a point here hang with me.  How often do we let our ego get in the way and distort what looking out for ourselves really is? How often do you think you are doing the right thing yet somehow the ultimate good is missed for you? How much has our pessimistic driven society twisted our perceived reality of what looking out for number 1 really is? Is looking out for number 1 really a good thing?

The answer is yes and there is a way out of all that garbage gang! In order to get through all of that muck you really have to make sure you ask yourself honest genuine questions over and over. When you clear that filter you will find that you are more productive and genuinely are really looking out for number 1, which allows you to be at your best and able to help others more efficiently.

Recently I listened to a very wise friend tell me about holding the hand of someone that he cared for very dearly in the persons last moments of life. His story of what happened was based on the questions that he chose at that moment. He could have been angry at the time, which presumably would have been proceeded by the question: Why is this happening? Why…Why… Why?  But instead he decided to see the beauty of the situation and chose the joy of being with that person in the last moments. He held the persons hand and laughed and cried with grace. The questions he asked gave him outcomes that he will always cherish. I don’t think he realized, as he told me the story, how much it impacted me. Using the word grace three times in the same paragraph showed me that he asked questions that allowed such a word. His questions allowed for a form of happiness that most do not give themselves a chance with in that situation. He created a memory based on good questions that serve him and honor the beauty of the time he had with this person, in essence honoring that person big time. Then in a genuinely altruistic form he told me the story, which really made me see a different side of such a situation.

Do you see how taking care of number 1 there was all around great? If my friend had chosen to be angry and mad during that time because of the questions he asked, the dying person’s last moments of life would have been spent sad…his last memory of the person would be tarnished and there would be no honoring of this person. In addition, I would still have autopilot on if I were to encounter such a situation. Autopilot generally will push you to do what society has taught which is go with the negative. Taking care of number 1 by asking the right questions made a situation that is certainly still very sad a good memory and a lesson to others on grace and joy.

The other story is in business terms and it is amazing to me. I met with a very sharp lady a few weeks ago to discuss business. I thoroughly enjoyed her company and thought this gal really could be the real deal (I still think that for that matter). This was not a first exposure for this lady and there were some questions, so I thought I would let her let me know her concerns as to why she had not chosen to come on board. She talked to me about a few things and we covered a lot of ground in terms of solidifying confidence and support. Then the stumble came. She said to me “Marcy Jones, who is really sharp, and I were about to come on board but Jonathon Baxter (innocent names being protected here ☺), who approached us and showed us the opportunity, just has not done it the right way! We are interested but that person is not doing it right.” I smiled and listened a bit more. Eventually I asked if I could interrupt for a second. She said, “Sure go ahead.” I said, “So you and the sharp gal think the company is great and see a very good opportunity?” Yes was the answer.  “So…what is the problem then? Isn’t this about you?” I did not go into lecture mode as I don’t do that with adults and this gal was clearly a smart woman. But what I think you can see is that somewhere down the line her perception of looking out for number 1 was severely distorted into focusing on something else other than what number 1 actually needed. I say this as clearly she was looking at the company to better her health and wealth. Why else would you look at such an opportunity! Yet, her questions were not aimed at her ultimate goal of helping to get to those goals! She had the intention but her questions were steering her elsewhere.

Her question should have been along the lines of: Is this a company that can help me achieve what I want in terms of health and wealth? That is a more legitimate question based on what she told me her desired outcome was.

How many times do you let the wrong question enter the equation? You can see above that the difference in outcomes is directly tied to our questions. The first had a very good outcome for himself, the person he was with, and a future friend all by asking the right question in looking out for number one. The second has no chance of really helping out number 1 with the question she asked which in essence means she can’t help anyone else out either. The wild thing is that most don’t take the time to evaluate their questions and thereby never have a clue that they never even gave number 1 the chance that he or she deserves!

Gang, It is ok to look out for number 1, honest. However, I ask is that what you are really doing?

If so you will find that your road to greatness will be a lot shorter than those that follow the deluded path of negativity. I really hope you take a moment and check yourself in such situations. I promise the outcomes will make you and those around you happier.

Questions that will make us all happier if you will take the time for them ☺

1)    Should I really speed up and not let this person into the lane? I mean does that .7 seconds to show some kindness really going to improve my life that much?

2)    Does me tailing that person really show them who is boss, especially when I have someone else in the car with me…I mean if they hit the breaks and I hit them was it really worth it?

3)    Do I really need to treat that waiter like the scum of the earth because they got my order wrong? I mean…am I really that much better on earth than they are?

4)    Does everyone really need to hear my whole conversation in a public place…ok I admit that is just a personal pet peeve of mine and has no bearing here ☺

To Your Success
Young Guns Always Wanted
Wesley Anderson